HEARTBREAK TODAY

We have had extremely disappointing news this morning.  In the midst of a merger of our original agency with another agency, their Thailand Program is closing today.  Because the program with Thailand was run through the original agency, the new agency doesn't have an agreement with the country as yet, or something along those lines.  I have been informed that they will try and begin a new Thailand program, but they do not know if it will be approved and how long it will take, etc.  Here are our options as of right now: 

Wait to see if a Thailand program starts up again with this agency.

Or go ahead and begin the China program and wait over 3 years for a referral.

Or consider the Taiwan or Ethiopia programs.

All are viable options.  There are so many reasons, however, why the program we chose/qualified for originally seemed just perfect, and why these other programs have some individual difficulties for us.  However, we will continue on with our adoption and make a decision in the next few weeks as to exactly where we'll be going.  I know it's just a big setback in a long journey, which I know will have a beautiful ending.

We've just completed so much of our Thailand dossier- Dr.s forms, paperwork, notarized letters, our friends did their notarized letters of reference for Thailand, etc.  Now what? 

My heart is broken today.

I know there is a child waiting for us and we just have to keep going.

PLEASE CONSIDER BEING A MENTOR! (click here to read about one of many programs)

  As a volunteer Guardian Ad Litem, I represent abused and neglected kids in court who are currently in Foster Care.  Confidentiality is important, but I can tell you that I currently represent a young teen boy who resides in a group home.  His past is one of countless deeply disappointing stories, but whenever I visit with him (usually weekly), he brightens up my day immediately!  In fact, I can honestly say that he has made me a better and more sensitive person and has done me more good than any good that I have possibly done for him.  His smile lights up when I come in.  He tells me I can come over anytime.  All I do is sit and talk with him or watch him skateboard out front.  He yearns for that attention.  He is so precious and valuable, I can't imagine how anyone could not appreciate and treasure him everyday of his life.  As a GAL, my job is to make sure his general needs are being met- i.e.- food, shelter, clothing, safety, kind treatment, medical care, counseling, education.  Then beyond that, I try to advocate and facilitate opportunities that "normal" kids have, such as sports, activities, outings, visitation with separated siblings, socializing, etc, although sadly, I myself, am not allowed to take him on outings according to the Court Program.  This is where it gets really tough.  If the first list is met, we can breath a sigh of relief, they are safe and being fed, and most people in charge just kind of forget about the child and check in once a month.  But it's that second list of needs that makes my heart ache as well.  A child can have all of his basic needs met, but what about one on one time?  What about someone talking to them as an individual and asking them, how was your day?  Do you have any friends at this newest of many schools you've been moved to?  Do you want to talk about anything?  What are your hopes and dreams?  Do you need help with your homework?  Would you like to go to lunch?  To the park?  See a ball game? Do you go to church?  To Synagogue?  Would you like to?  Would you like me to come to your school program or field trip?  

  These are all the things that are own children just assume will happen.  But MANY of these children NEVER have anyone take this interest in them.  In fact, I can't even imagine my kids making it through school without us staying "on top" of their work everyday!  They will soon grow up, "age out" of the system and be unprepared adults with no sense of attachment or guidance.  

Here's the problem...thousands of kids...not enough people who care.  

  Consider being a mentor.  You don't have to sign you life away.  It can be as simple as one outing a month or more if you'd like.  There are many programs in your area. You can even google a children's home or group home near you and call and ask if they need someone to stop over and help with homework or take kids for outings.  There will be an application, a background check and clearance obviously for their safety, but it will only take a teeny tiny bit of effort on your part and in the long run will make all the difference to an child who needs someone to care about them as an individual!  

Matthew 25:35-40

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?"

Then the King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

BATTER MY HEART BY JOHN DONNE

Every now and then a piece of poetry will catch my mind and I will keep going over it in my head for awhile, picking it apart.  This sonnet I came across the other day is one of those.  I am captured by the way Donne speaks of needing God to literally take over and relieve his heart as he drifts away and disappoints himself by his own actions.  We don't know what he has done to disappoint himself... in this particular poem, it sounds quite serious, the reason that causes the author to cry out to God for help and for relief.  We may not be living a life that could compare to what John Donne is expressing here, but don't we all at times drift away toward that place of disappointment?  Even if it is just an unkind word or judgement.  How hopeful it is for me to know I can call on God anytime, and He is there immediately with love and mercy.

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you

As yet but knock, breath, shine, and seek to mend;

That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurp'd town to'another due,

Labor to'admit you, but oh, to no end;

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly'I love you, and would be lov'd fain,

But am betroth'd unto your enemy;

Divorce me,'untie or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprision me,  for I,

Except you'enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

                                                   --John Donne

HOMESTUDY!

 Well, it may seem like not a whole lot is going on since I haven't been posting too much lately when in all actuality, we have been swamped around here!  We have a huge list of things to do and paperwork to fill out and it just so happens it is all coming at us at one of our busiest times of the year (next to Christmas!).  This time of year is so busy, as many of you moms of school age kids would agree (can I get a witness?), because it is the time for the big end of the year final activities.  For us that includes: 2 major dance recitals for our daughter Christina, and for our son Matthew, we have his school musical, choir and violin concerts.  (he is actually taking a break from Taekwondo right now!) With all of this comes- tickets, ads, props, costumes, volunteering, and a whole lot of driving around and waiting in the car with a busy, yet lovey 3 year old and his sticky snacks!  Let's not even get started on the field trips, UGH!  

  In addition to this, Jacob and I are trying to earn some extra $ for the adoption of course, so we have taken on extra shifts when possible.  So, needless to say our free time is pretty much zero right now!  

  Anyway, the good news is- we have received our home study paperwork and are beginning to work our way through it slowly along with the huge dossier stack which is still looming on the corner of the desk!  We should be scheduling our first home study visit soon and we are very excited.  (if we could just have a free day to get the house back in order after this crazy month!)  

  From my viewpoint right now, it appears as a mountain of things to accomplish and I am just barely keeping up with each day.  I know in about 4 weeks, things will slow down considerably.....or am I just dreaming?

WHY NOT DOMESTIC FOR US? (click here if you are interested in domestic adoption!)

. A very good question that some might ask, "Why not domestic?"  I will try to answer as briefly as possible, although I could write so much about it as I have considered it painstakingly!  About 10 years ago, I tried to adopt a little girl domestically, who turned out to be from such a traumatic situation that she was not able to be placed in a home with siblings.  My heart mourned for this girl and I was so angry that someone had ruined a little girl, so that she could not have a future with us. Recently when I started researching this current adoption, I still poured over the domestic listings and found that:

- Many people in America are on waiting lists for a healthy child under 4 of any race.  They will almost surely be adopted.

-I have not seen a listing for a healthy or minor special needs child under 4 without a sibling group and we just cannot take in many children for lack of space!

-I have several friends with beautiful special needs children, but my family's demands on time and our finances are not prepared for that path right now, if possible.  I have to be fair to my family's needs and honest about what we can handle.  It takes a lot of time and resources to raise a child with special needs.  Of course, we're aware there will be needs of even a "healthy" orphan and we will be prepared for who God brings us in any case.  

-We are really hoping for a young child who falls in line age- wise, because it works out best for our family dynamic and especially for bedroom sharing! 

-It can take several years for a child in the "System" to be fully released for adoption in the U.S.

-As a Guardian Ad Litem, I am trying to make a difference domestically and am well aware of the lonliness and challenges of a child in the system.  However, in the U.S.,in almost all cases, the children are being fed, clothed, getting an education, medical, and have resources.  I know it's not ideal, but they have some hope for a future.

-In many countries around the world, an orphan's life can be deplorable and filled with hunger, disease and neglect, with absolutely no resources for their future.  

If I could, I would save them all!

THE STAR THROWER BY LOREN EISELEY

  In the often quoted story adapted from "The Star Thrower" by Loren Eiseley, we are told of an old man picking up starfish and tossing them into the sea before the tide goes out.  He is confronted by someone who tell him his quest is ridiculous- that there are millions of starfish on the beach and that what he was doing couldn't possibly make a difference.  The wise old man picked up another starfish, paused thoughtfully, and remarked as he tossed it out into the waves, "It makes a difference to this one."

   From: Save A Child 

PAPERWORK!!!

  We received our Thailand dossier packet in the mail today from the agency!  It was a BIG stack of papers.  More than I had imagined.  I waited for Jacob and we opened it together.  We were both excited and nervous!  We just barely had a chance to look through the first 10 pages or so, and we have to leave it as we are going out of town for the weekend.  So, we will be busy over the next month or more reading information, filling out paperwork and documents and getting everything officiated! .....one step closer...

FORMAL APPLICATION APPROVAL!

  Last week we had the approval go through for our formal application!  (This is a 2nd, more detailed application)  We are excited and waiting to hear when we will get started on the Home Study portion of the adoption. This should be scheduled in the next couple of weeks, I assume!  

JUST A FEW STATISTICS

There are approximately 143-210 million orphans in the world.

Everyday 5,760 more children become orphans. 

Many live in the street.

Each day 38,493 orphans "age out" of their orphanage as teens.

Suicide, AIDS, homelessness, crime and prostitution is their future almost certainly.

Highest numbers in Africa, China, Russia, Ukraine and many more.

1.4 million orphans in Thailand.     UNICEF

  In Thailand, among other countries, numerous children are sold into prostitution and slave labor.  They are forced to work until they are no longer physically able.  This is not something that we can possibly close our eyes to anymore in today's society.  It's not like when we were children and we "heard stories" about what happens in far away places.  It is time, in this day of technology and travel, where we can't ignore the facts anymore.  We can't act like we don't know what is going on, you can read it, see it, everywhere. Sometimes I see a photo or video of a lonely or starving child and I imagine one of my childrens' faces in his or her place.  Abandoned, completely without protection, afraid, hungry.  Just try it sometime, imagine your child or one close to you, and see if your heart doesn't just break in a million pieces!  

Proverbs 31:8-9  Open your mouth for the dumb, for the rights of all who are left desolate.  Open your mouth, judge righteously, maintain the rights of the poor and needy.

DONATE?

  Why donate to a family's adoption?  As we were researching the idea of International adoption, we found that it would be a venture that not everybody could hope for because of the costs.  But, every site I investigated about financing an adoption gave ideas about fundraising and writing grants and we came to find that this is how many working class families are making this happen.  We definitely have the means and the desire to care for an orphan, but the money up front is overwhelming.  A major portion of the costs (about 1/3) go to a required donation to the Country's Orphanage or to their child welfare system.  In addition to that, there are medical fees, immigration and visa for the child and for his or her paperwork to be released and adopted.  So, your donation will be giving a child a chance to be released from their orphanage and brought home to a loving family.  It is a donation of humanitarian love and we will care for the child happily.  (the remainder of the fees are about 1/3 to our home study, agency, and documents- and the final 1/3 for travel costs) We are doing everything we can to make this happen- working extra hours, paring back on extra spending, fundraising and grants.  Like we said in the Blog description, we are also setting up a fund to help other orphans as God is calling us to step up and make a difference.   If you have any questions, you can email us at overseas.adoption@gmail.com .  Thank you so much for your generosity and care!

PROJECT ANNA-NADIA'S STORY

  I highly recommend this video, it is such an amazing story!  It is about a man here in Florida who had a dream about a little girl and actually found that very girl in an orphanage in Russia.  Click on this title above (Project Anna) to watch it.

VISION 2

  So, I wanted to finish going back and telling about the 2nd vision that I had so there is a complete view of why we are here, now,  planning to adopt.  Please understand, that having these 2 visions has been quite an experience for me.  It's not like I have visions every night!  In fact, I have had some similar experiences throughout my life, but not often, and none so real and visually clear as these.  About 2 months after the 1st vision (which you can read about on my first posting) I had a 2nd one. This was in January.  This vision happened very quickly.  I awoke in the middle of the night to see a little girl standing in my room.  This girl, however was younger than the girl in the first vision (maybe 2 or 3yrs old).  She again was Asian looking with almost shoulder length, black hair and bangs.  She was holding in her hands a stack of papers, which I knew to be adoption papers or for some reason I was thinking fundraising papers (having to do with the adoption either way).  I was sitting up looking at her, and I said, "Who is that?" She then quickly ducked behind the side table somewhat playfully.  I said, "It's okay, you can come out" (I'm not really sure why I said that!) But she was gone.  I stayed awake after that and thought about it so I would remember.  I had a sense she was where a lot of other children were.  So, because the 2 girls were different ages, I think that maybe they just represent a child in general that we are to adopt, or perhaps it was the same girl at a younger age in the 2nd vision.  Like we are going back in time to the adoption from where she would be.  

APPROVAL!

  We are so excited, we received our approval for the Thailand program last night!  I think my stomach did 50 somersaults when I read the email!  We were both so surprised, we thought we would wait at least a week for an answer, but it came the same day.  To add to that, after researching, this was the only Thailand program with an opening for us, and it was my last try at Thailand.  We both feel like this is a door opening for us, but only God knows exactly how it will all work out!  We are really on our way and we need to start saving money and writing grants because this is a financially big venture for us, but worth it for sure.  Who wouldn't stretch themselves and make a few sacrifices to save an innocent human being, especially when we have an idea of what their future might hold otherwise?  Especially in America where we have so much.  Our family is happy and full of love to give.  It's just getting the child here that will be our challenge!  But, we feel confident in God's provision and in His timing.  

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything; you may have an abundance for every good deed;

APPLICATION!

Jacob and I met with our Pastor and discussed the situation. Pastor Rick voiced his sense of confirmation that we should take steps toward adoption. After speaking with another leader at church, and a friend who is a Pastor at another church here in Orlando, we received confirmation and agreement all around. So, we agreed to take the first step of just seeing if we are approved for this particular Thailand program.
Today we sent in our application for the Thailand program that we have chosen. I can't believe we actually did it! I have been dreaming of this happening and now it is really in process. We are happy, excited and nervous. Of course, we still need to be approved by the Director of the program. So, we will know in 10 days. We will keep it in prayer and if it is meant to be, the door will open. If not Thailand, then we will keep looking and try the next door. We prayed that if God opens the door, we will take the next step.

- Great news- Jacob checked today and found that Delta flies into Bangkok. Since he has a whole lot of sky miles saved up, this will be a huge help on our adoption budget!

6 MINUTES OF YOUR TIME

If you would just take 6 minutes of your time and watch this beautiful video, it will change your heart!