Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I HAVE A SECRET DREAM.
I have a secret dream.
I am an actress. I perform on stage doing theatre, singing, dancing, comedy. I do commercials and hosting. That probably sounds a lot more glamorous than it actually is! LOL! My husband does the same. We have been blessed to work for many years, but we are still basically the old title of "staving artists" when I gets right down to it!
So you might think that my secret dream is to "make it big" in a movie or on Broadway. Be a Star! Earn the big bucks! At times in my life, that has been the dream, but deep inside my heart, my true dream keeps creeping up as something completely different.
I dream of being..... A Missionary. There I said it. I never really say that.
I continually read missionary books, watch missionary videos, and dream of travel to far off lands, starting an orphanage, or a feeding center, getting medical help to the needy and just being there with the people.
When the thought of traveling to Africa or China and working in a orphanage or with a feeding mission is more exciting than an exotic trip to Europe, that's unusual! Does anyone else feel that way?? Please share!!
I know you will say, "How could you be a missionary, Annie?" Impossible! You are married. You have (soon) 4 kids. You have family, a job, a house payment, cars, people, futures to think of. I Know! I TOTALLY agree! I know it is a ridiculous idea for us to be missionaries. It's not even close to what we do!! So WHY do I keep dreaming I could do that??
I have made steps to fulfill (quell?) this desire. Things I can do HERE. I am a Guardian Ad Litem, working with children in the foster care system. My daughter and I spent many Saturdays volunteering at the homeless shelter. We are adopting our precious daughter. I blog. We "give". I love all of these and these are all steps that God has given us to take.
But instead of quelling my desire to travel to far off lands, those things just INCREASE my desire! UGH! So, there must be something more in the future. Something. I really don't know what it is. It may be something I'm not even thinking of. It may be totally different. But I just know there is something.
Jeremiah 20 :9
But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.