I have a secret dream.
I am an actress. I perform on stage doing theatre, singing, dancing, comedy. I do commercials and hosting. That probably sounds a lot more glamorous than it actually is! LOL! My husband does the same. We have been blessed to work for many years, but we are still basically the old title of "staving artists" when I gets right down to it!
So you might think that my secret dream is to "make it big" in a movie or on Broadway. Be a Star! Earn the big bucks! At times in my life, that has been the dream, but deep inside my heart, my true dream keeps creeping up as something completely different.
I dream of being..... A Missionary. There I said it. I never really say that.
I continually read missionary books, watch missionary videos, and dream of travel to far off lands, starting an orphanage, or a feeding center, getting medical help to the needy and just being there with the people.
When the thought of traveling to Africa or China and working in a orphanage or with a feeding mission is more exciting than an exotic trip to Europe, that's unusual! Does anyone else feel that way?? Please share!!
I know you will say, "How could you be a missionary, Annie?" Impossible! You are married. You have (soon) 4 kids. You have family, a job, a house payment, cars, people, futures to think of. I Know! I TOTALLY agree! I know it is a ridiculous idea for us to be missionaries. It's not even close to what we do!! So WHY do I keep dreaming I could do that??
I have made steps to fulfill (quell?) this desire. Things I can do HERE. I am a Guardian Ad Litem, working with children in the foster care system. My daughter and I spent many Saturdays volunteering at the homeless shelter. We are adopting our precious daughter. I blog. We "give". I love all of these and these are all steps that God has given us to take.
But instead of quelling my desire to travel to far off lands, those things just INCREASE my desire! UGH! So, there must be something more in the future. Something. I really don't know what it is. It may be something I'm not even thinking of. It may be totally different. But I just know there is something.
Jeremiah 20 :9
But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.
I honestly want to do the same Annie! When the girls are off to college I want to start an orphanage in Thailand... or something in that field. I am always thinking of that, giving a better life to some of the street kids, I haven't figured out exactly what it is but this is my plan when my children are out of the house and I can concentrate on a new project.
ReplyDeleteSo there you are... not alone!! Maybe we can do something together??
I LOVE your dream. I think you should shout it from the rooftops :) My daddy was a missionary and while it was a sacrifice in many ways for our family, we were given a gift that could not be matched.
ReplyDeleteMireille, how wonderful to hear that! Yes, maybe someday we could join together in our venture!
ReplyDeleteCool Hannah, how many stories your dad must have to tell! You should have him tell you and you can write it down in a family book.
Oh my Annie!!! Joy sent me to your blog and this being the second post I've ever read from you I gotta say we are kindred spirits!!! I constantly dream of this! Some days of waiting until the kids are grown and going, sometimes dreaming of relocating my entire family. I know my kids will fare well, but is it insane or selfish on my part? Like you I advocate, sponsor children, volunteer my time where I can, support other missionaries, and pray! Some days I wonder why God has chosen the path I'm on, rather than sending me on one of a missionary instead. I'm waiting to see where He leads me. I'm willing to GO!!!
ReplyDeleteRather than dreaming of spa vacations, I dream of rolling up my sleeves and getting dirty! Walking barefoot in villages, hugging sweet orphan faces, administering medicine and loving an old widow and listening to her years of wisdom as we share with one another about how Jesus has worked miracles in our lives. Now THAT would be a dream vacation. ♥
SO glad you stopped by and shared your same passion for mission work, Renea! How awesome - We will all have to encourage each other to keep believing for our hearts desires!
ReplyDeleteYou better watch out, the last person that told me they had a dream like that is now living in Tanzania running an orphanage!!
ReplyDeleteLOL Michele, that's something! But cool!
ReplyDeleteAnnie, I'm a missionary kid, too. I grew up in South America and wouldn't trade my experience for the world. If God has given you that desire (and He would have to give it to your husband, too!) then keep stepping out by faith to see where He leads you. You should check out this blog, too: http://tonyalatorre.wordpress.com/ . Very inspiring, and right down your alley!
ReplyDeleteHi Annie! This post has totally touched my heart. I live in AL, I am a worship leader, and a 4th grade teacher:) My husband and I are also in the process of adopting a baby girl from Taiwan. If the Lord is calling you into a different stage in your life.....go...run!!!! He will provide your every need:) We serve such a holy God that holds us in the palms of His hands!!!! As a huge Alabama football fan......I will still say....Congrats:) to the 2010 Champs! AL is incredible to have 2 nat'l champs! In Him, Emily
ReplyDeletethats an awesome thing to want to do, and look at the wonderful things you are doing because of your yearning. No one said you had to do it right now anyway, its certainly a possiblitly and you aredoing so much good here I'm sure it will be worth the wait.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for your fun words of support! Well, who knows what the Lord has in mind, but I do know, everyone else in our family would have to feel the same way if we were to work overseas - that would help, LOL!
ReplyDeleteTerri, thanks for the link, I've enjoyed going there!
I am pro being a missionary. :) ... Family orphanage? .... You are always free to come visit me here!
ReplyDeleteYes, Ashley, a family orphanage, sounds good! ! I love following your blog and your mission. I would LOVE to come and visit. I'm so proud of you, cousin!
ReplyDeleteWow.. it has been too long since I perused your blog, Annie! I had forgotten how much we have in common :) I feel the same way.. sometimes I even feel like I'm going crazy because of it. I mean, it is crazy but there is something about that heart-tug that you cannot ignore. It doesn't simply just go away with time.. it will be amazing to watch what happens as your world expands to China and ours expands to Ethiopia. What a journey we are on!! But I believe that God's dreams for our lives are even greater than the ones we have dreamed for ourselves..
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and praying for you! I also can't wait to see some of your baby pics.. soon?? When can you post??
Oh Annie...it too has been a heart dream of mine for so many years. I always wish I had joined the Peace Corp years ago. I hope at least to do a Missonary Trip someday...and if God leads the way...another adoption trip to China!!!
ReplyDeleteKathie
Hi Annie,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Thanks for stopping by my blog as well. I can tell you, now that we are actually trying to walk this out and BE missionaries and GO, it is HARD. I can't believe how hard! There are 100s of things that tie us to our life here, and to cut those strings and tie them up is so difficult, time-consuming, and complicated. I thought we would tell people, raise support, and go. Not so! But, we shall persevere and see. I DO encourage all young people with this desire to follow it, because once you are older, with kids, and bills, and responsibilities, it gets so much harder. (I said hard how many times now??).
Well, kindred spirit, I do believe it's is not just God's heart, but his COMMAND. Let's go if we can! :)
Chris
Annie! It's a great dream! I would love to sit in china and rock babies all day!! I wanted to tell you about the blog "building the blocks". You can find it on my blog roll. They are moving their family to guatemala to be missionaries!
ReplyDeleteRenea and I are planning a trip to Africa hopefully this summer.
Joy
Annie, 13 years ago God put the desire on my heart to move to Africa. At the time my husband thought it was not for us. We had just moved into a nice house, he was finally making money--and most importantly, we had six kids!
ReplyDeleteOne year later God gave Tom the same desire and 3 years after that we touched down on African soil. You never know what God will do in your life. In the meantime you are following Him and that is the most important thing.