BUSY YET FUN FALL FOR US!

I have been using this blog mainly as an opportunity to follow along with our adoption and to advocate for children.  But I may as well start adding more about our family and what is going on around here in our busy lives!   Pretty soon we will be waiting for a referral and that could last a long time!  Then what am I going to write about every week?   I'm sure I will have some interesting cause or discussion, but I think it will be fun to personalize our blog a little.  So today, I am posting a few pics from our past couple of months.  Christina is marching in her High School marching band her first year!  Matthew is playing peewee football and is making some awesome tackles!  And Joshua turns 4 tomorrow!  They make me so happy and I love to watch them grow and learn.  

CHIPPING AWAY!

  Jacob and I are moving along quickly completing our paperwork!  We drove to our county sheriff's office last week and got our local backgrounds checks and notarized.  So our federal, state and local- done!  We sent off our USCIS application I600 A, US immigration application.  We completed all 5 required online parenting classes, sent off for our notarized employment verification, completed our orphanage application, and will be getting our doctor's letters tomorrow.  There are many more forms we've accomplished, but I can't think of them all right now!  A fun thing we are working on is a family photo album that the birth mother and/or orphanage can view to help match us with a child.  It will be so awesome to get our paperwork completed and our dossier submitted.  I think we may be able to do this in the next 3-4 weeks!

Home Study visits!

We completed our 2 home study visits yesterday!  After getting the house organized and being a little nervous for our home study visits, we came to find it was a very enjoyable and pressure free experience!  We'd all like to say that our house is always in perfect order, right?  In fact, sometimes I feel like all I do everyday is continuously clean and pick up after my busy kids - keeping it organized is the key to peace with a busy family.  And we've read that the social worker is not looking at your house keeping abilities or how well you decorate, they just want to make sure you have what is necessary and safe to care for a child and also to get to know the family.  But, let's face it, who isn't going to go the extra mile to get everything extra clean and organized and make it look like the happiest home-making home ever for your home study?!  It's like the difference between when your just having your neighbor stop by for coffee, or when your own mom my is coming to stay.   This is like the latter, you do that extra deep dusting and scrubbing and add cookies, coffee and a smile!  So, needless to say we've had a busy week!  Of course she never even really looked inside the closets, cupboards, showers or under the beds, ha ha!  But at least we were prepared for anything.  Our social worker laughed and added that she baked cookies and had coffee for HER social worker as well, as she was going through a home study herself!  She was very nice and throughout the interviews we chatted about adoption, kids, travel and all sorts of things.  It was a great experience and now all we have to do is keep chipping away at the paper work remaining.  

ADOPTION/HOME STUDY AGREEMENT

   We completed our Taiwan adoption agreement and home study agreement forms, had them notarized and sent them off to the agency (along with our first big payment)!  We heard back from the agency immediately and are excited to get our home study started next Sunday and begin compiling our dossier.  We hope to move through this portion of our journey quickly in order to submit our dossier to Taiwan and begin the long wait.  I'm hoping for 2 months to complete our dossier compilation, am I dreaming?    We've received several pages of paperwork and have started filling them out and sending them off - such as our child abuse registry clearance and our criminal history checks.  If I look at all of the paperwork for the home study and also for the dossier that needs to be completed, it is a little overwhelming!  But we just take time everyday to get some of it done and I know it will get finished!

Galatians 6:9 
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 

YES TAIWAN!!

Well, we sent in our application for Taiwan last Thursday.  On Tuesday we received a call from the agency and we were told they would be happy to move forward on a Taiwan adoption with us, if we were prepared for the fact that the wait times have increased quite a bit.  Closer to 3 years now to wait for a referral.  Well that is a looong time to wait when you have a little sweetie in mind.  However In light of all my research, and finding that the wait times for most of the countries we were considering increasing, (3 years for Colombia, closer to 4 years for China) we decided to go ahead and move forward with Taiwan.  So, here we are taking our first steps again in the process and looking forward to moving ahead!   We have friends from work, a couple who are in the process of a Nepal adoption with the same agency, who have great things to say about working with this agency, so that was a positive for us!  These friends have completed their home study and dossier and have sent it off to Nepal.  Please pray for their quick referral!  (by the way, we would have loved to adopt from Nepal as well, but you cannot adopt from there if you already have children of both genders.  Yes, crazy but true.  So many children waiting for homes and then there are strange qualifications like that)  Please pray for our process to move along and I will keep you posted on our progress!  

TAIWAN!? (click here to read an article)

 I haven't posted anything lately, because well frankly, we were trying to decide where to look next for our adoption.  I just put it into God's hands when I didn't know which way to turn and waited!  We've been inspired to get on the ball again.  We are considering a particular Colombia program (inspired by my in laws mission trip to Colombia and all of those precious kids!), however, this is a 3 year wait for referral and a 4-5 week stay in Colombia.  Now, at this moment, 4-5 weeks sounds like nothing when you are waiting for your precious child.  I mean, we would do that for our own biological child right?  However, when the time comes, a month or more away from our 3 kids could be very difficult to work out here at home.  So, it is not my first choice -at this time.  We are also excited about an agency with a Taiwan program for which we qualify.  This is a little less lengthy process.  Taiwan is not really a country in poverty.  However, I have done a lot of research over the past few weeks and found that the need is great to adopt children from Taiwan.  Unwed mothers are frequently shunned in their homes and in society, they cannot go to school or get jobs.  Most young, unwed mothers have 3 choices... abortion, abandonment, or to go to one of the group homes and orphanages run by ministries willing to help the girls with their pregnancy and adoption of their child.  In Taiwan, domestic adoption is still not very popular, although slowly becoming more acceptable.  Still highly unlikely for a child over 2 years due to the fact that a family would not want their child to know that they are not biological, it would be considered dishonorable.  Also, although Taiwan is more modern thinking than their mainland China, they still feel that the perfect family is one boy, one girl and no more.  So there is a lot of pressure to keep families small.  The abandonment of children is rising at an alarming rate according to a recent article in Taiwan that I read.  Every child needs a home and a family to love them!

Psalm 139:14-16 

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

      your works are wonderful, 
       I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you 
       when I was made in the secret place. 
       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. 

       All the days ordained for me 
       were written in your book 
       before one of them came to be.

BOGATA COLUMBIA (click here to learn about the mission)

Please pray for my sister in law and her husband, founders of WordServe United Methodist Church in Fulshear, TX as they and 13 other volunteers serve the people and children, living in poverty, in Bogata, Columbia.  They will be on this mission trip from June 13th - June 20th.  There are families and abandoned children in the hills, living in nothing but cardboard or tin shelters, having nothing but each other to keep warm, and depending completely on the mission site established there to feed them.  Please pray that the mission team  will be safe, stay healthy and able to do God's work by serving, feeding and loving those in need.   Also pray that through their work, they will encourage others to join in and serve the poor in their own communities and around the world.  

CHILDREN EVERYWHERE!

  If you had a chance to read my first several postings on this blog, you will understand why we keep thinking to adopt a little girl.  As I had mentioned when I had my dream/vision,back in November there was a little girl in my room with wide, Asian looking eyes, waiting for me.  As I had said in the second vision, the girl who appeared may not have been the same exact girl, because the second one looked younger.  However, they were quite similar.  Well, I came across this photo the other day, and was thinking how much this girl resembled my vision.  (much like some of the other pictures I've been attaching to posts) However this girl happens to be from South America.  She is not Asian.  Hmmm... as we research other programs, that widens the possibilities of places I suppose.  But what it comes down to is this; if God has intended for us to adopt a child, then He will lead us to whom is meant just for us.  As we are sort of starting over in our research, or at least taking a few steps backward, it gives us more time to save money and plan for whatever reason He has given us a detour.  And how much has my passion grown to advocate for children and my hope to do much more in the future!

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God."

OKAY, LET'S REGROUP

  So this week, we are starting to do some re- research on some programs we had kept in our folder from the beginning.  We are ready to see what God has in mind for us!  We know that there are countless children out there who need homes... millions,  that is sure.  Why does the process have to be so difficult and costly?  Well yes, of course I am aware of the dangers of not being thorough.  We have heard stories of children being taken from poor families in some countries and put up for adoption.  I would never want to take a child under these circumstances so yes, that calls for research and paperwork to be sure the child is truly an orphan, and is truly going to people who have the best intentions of parenting in mind.  But I've been hearing numerous stories of people here, with wonderful families, having a very hard time finding a program for which they qualify.  Here are some of the reasons, just depending on the country, the orphanage or the agency, (they each can make their own rules as they see fit or as they believe) ... cannot adopt if you have been married before, cannot adopt if just the Mother is over 38, cannot adopt if the combined age of the parents is over 90 years, cannot adopt if either parent is over 45, cannot adopt if you have more than 2 children, cannot adopt if you already have a boy and a girl, cannot adopt if mother is 5 years older than father, cannot adopt if you are overweight, cannot adopt if you have previously adopted from another country, cannot adopt if you are not of a certain faith, cannot adopt if you are not of that nationality.....and the list goes on.  Now of course, these are not qualification for all programs, but you will find them dispersed/popping up throughout your research.  You will find what seems just right and then..oh no..I don't qualify on that one term.  Then travel is a huge consideration.  Many South American countries require that you travel and stay for at least 6 weeks.  What working parents can do that?  All of those children waiting for homes and we can't get there!  Or many countries require 2 or 3 visits, which when flying around the world and taking off from work is very costly!  So the 1 trip country is what we can do.

  Then there is the wait times for a referral...I'm thinking, do I want my oldest to be in college by the time our new baby arrives?

But don't despair!  When you do the research, you will almost assuredly find a program that accepts your family status, with all of your details, whatever they are, you just have to keep looking!  Don't ever rule out and forget domestic adoption, it seems exclusive, but that is not always the case, keep searching the domestic photolistings for that face that needs you.

  So here we go.....

HEARTBREAK TODAY

We have had extremely disappointing news this morning.  In the midst of a merger of our original agency with another agency, their Thailand Program is closing today.  Because the program with Thailand was run through the original agency, the new agency doesn't have an agreement with the country as yet, or something along those lines.  I have been informed that they will try and begin a new Thailand program, but they do not know if it will be approved and how long it will take, etc.  Here are our options as of right now: 

Wait to see if a Thailand program starts up again with this agency.

Or go ahead and begin the China program and wait over 3 years for a referral.

Or consider the Taiwan or Ethiopia programs.

All are viable options.  There are so many reasons, however, why the program we chose/qualified for originally seemed just perfect, and why these other programs have some individual difficulties for us.  However, we will continue on with our adoption and make a decision in the next few weeks as to exactly where we'll be going.  I know it's just a big setback in a long journey, which I know will have a beautiful ending.

We've just completed so much of our Thailand dossier- Dr.s forms, paperwork, notarized letters, our friends did their notarized letters of reference for Thailand, etc.  Now what? 

My heart is broken today.

I know there is a child waiting for us and we just have to keep going.

PLEASE CONSIDER BEING A MENTOR! (click here to read about one of many programs)

  As a volunteer Guardian Ad Litem, I represent abused and neglected kids in court who are currently in Foster Care.  Confidentiality is important, but I can tell you that I currently represent a young teen boy who resides in a group home.  His past is one of countless deeply disappointing stories, but whenever I visit with him (usually weekly), he brightens up my day immediately!  In fact, I can honestly say that he has made me a better and more sensitive person and has done me more good than any good that I have possibly done for him.  His smile lights up when I come in.  He tells me I can come over anytime.  All I do is sit and talk with him or watch him skateboard out front.  He yearns for that attention.  He is so precious and valuable, I can't imagine how anyone could not appreciate and treasure him everyday of his life.  As a GAL, my job is to make sure his general needs are being met- i.e.- food, shelter, clothing, safety, kind treatment, medical care, counseling, education.  Then beyond that, I try to advocate and facilitate opportunities that "normal" kids have, such as sports, activities, outings, visitation with separated siblings, socializing, etc, although sadly, I myself, am not allowed to take him on outings according to the Court Program.  This is where it gets really tough.  If the first list is met, we can breath a sigh of relief, they are safe and being fed, and most people in charge just kind of forget about the child and check in once a month.  But it's that second list of needs that makes my heart ache as well.  A child can have all of his basic needs met, but what about one on one time?  What about someone talking to them as an individual and asking them, how was your day?  Do you have any friends at this newest of many schools you've been moved to?  Do you want to talk about anything?  What are your hopes and dreams?  Do you need help with your homework?  Would you like to go to lunch?  To the park?  See a ball game? Do you go to church?  To Synagogue?  Would you like to?  Would you like me to come to your school program or field trip?  

  These are all the things that are own children just assume will happen.  But MANY of these children NEVER have anyone take this interest in them.  In fact, I can't even imagine my kids making it through school without us staying "on top" of their work everyday!  They will soon grow up, "age out" of the system and be unprepared adults with no sense of attachment or guidance.  

Here's the problem...thousands of kids...not enough people who care.  

  Consider being a mentor.  You don't have to sign you life away.  It can be as simple as one outing a month or more if you'd like.  There are many programs in your area. You can even google a children's home or group home near you and call and ask if they need someone to stop over and help with homework or take kids for outings.  There will be an application, a background check and clearance obviously for their safety, but it will only take a teeny tiny bit of effort on your part and in the long run will make all the difference to an child who needs someone to care about them as an individual!  

Matthew 25:35-40

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?"

Then the King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

BATTER MY HEART BY JOHN DONNE

Every now and then a piece of poetry will catch my mind and I will keep going over it in my head for awhile, picking it apart.  This sonnet I came across the other day is one of those.  I am captured by the way Donne speaks of needing God to literally take over and relieve his heart as he drifts away and disappoints himself by his own actions.  We don't know what he has done to disappoint himself... in this particular poem, it sounds quite serious, the reason that causes the author to cry out to God for help and for relief.  We may not be living a life that could compare to what John Donne is expressing here, but don't we all at times drift away toward that place of disappointment?  Even if it is just an unkind word or judgement.  How hopeful it is for me to know I can call on God anytime, and He is there immediately with love and mercy.

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you

As yet but knock, breath, shine, and seek to mend;

That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurp'd town to'another due,

Labor to'admit you, but oh, to no end;

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly'I love you, and would be lov'd fain,

But am betroth'd unto your enemy;

Divorce me,'untie or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprision me,  for I,

Except you'enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

                                                   --John Donne

HOMESTUDY!

 Well, it may seem like not a whole lot is going on since I haven't been posting too much lately when in all actuality, we have been swamped around here!  We have a huge list of things to do and paperwork to fill out and it just so happens it is all coming at us at one of our busiest times of the year (next to Christmas!).  This time of year is so busy, as many of you moms of school age kids would agree (can I get a witness?), because it is the time for the big end of the year final activities.  For us that includes: 2 major dance recitals for our daughter Christina, and for our son Matthew, we have his school musical, choir and violin concerts.  (he is actually taking a break from Taekwondo right now!) With all of this comes- tickets, ads, props, costumes, volunteering, and a whole lot of driving around and waiting in the car with a busy, yet lovey 3 year old and his sticky snacks!  Let's not even get started on the field trips, UGH!  

  In addition to this, Jacob and I are trying to earn some extra $ for the adoption of course, so we have taken on extra shifts when possible.  So, needless to say our free time is pretty much zero right now!  

  Anyway, the good news is- we have received our home study paperwork and are beginning to work our way through it slowly along with the huge dossier stack which is still looming on the corner of the desk!  We should be scheduling our first home study visit soon and we are very excited.  (if we could just have a free day to get the house back in order after this crazy month!)  

  From my viewpoint right now, it appears as a mountain of things to accomplish and I am just barely keeping up with each day.  I know in about 4 weeks, things will slow down considerably.....or am I just dreaming?

WHY NOT DOMESTIC FOR US? (click here if you are interested in domestic adoption!)

. A very good question that some might ask, "Why not domestic?"  I will try to answer as briefly as possible, although I could write so much about it as I have considered it painstakingly!  About 10 years ago, I tried to adopt a little girl domestically, who turned out to be from such a traumatic situation that she was not able to be placed in a home with siblings.  My heart mourned for this girl and I was so angry that someone had ruined a little girl, so that she could not have a future with us. Recently when I started researching this current adoption, I still poured over the domestic listings and found that:

- Many people in America are on waiting lists for a healthy child under 4 of any race.  They will almost surely be adopted.

-I have not seen a listing for a healthy or minor special needs child under 4 without a sibling group and we just cannot take in many children for lack of space!

-I have several friends with beautiful special needs children, but my family's demands on time and our finances are not prepared for that path right now, if possible.  I have to be fair to my family's needs and honest about what we can handle.  It takes a lot of time and resources to raise a child with special needs.  Of course, we're aware there will be needs of even a "healthy" orphan and we will be prepared for who God brings us in any case.  

-We are really hoping for a young child who falls in line age- wise, because it works out best for our family dynamic and especially for bedroom sharing! 

-It can take several years for a child in the "System" to be fully released for adoption in the U.S.

-As a Guardian Ad Litem, I am trying to make a difference domestically and am well aware of the lonliness and challenges of a child in the system.  However, in the U.S.,in almost all cases, the children are being fed, clothed, getting an education, medical, and have resources.  I know it's not ideal, but they have some hope for a future.

-In many countries around the world, an orphan's life can be deplorable and filled with hunger, disease and neglect, with absolutely no resources for their future.  

If I could, I would save them all!

THE STAR THROWER BY LOREN EISELEY

  In the often quoted story adapted from "The Star Thrower" by Loren Eiseley, we are told of an old man picking up starfish and tossing them into the sea before the tide goes out.  He is confronted by someone who tell him his quest is ridiculous- that there are millions of starfish on the beach and that what he was doing couldn't possibly make a difference.  The wise old man picked up another starfish, paused thoughtfully, and remarked as he tossed it out into the waves, "It makes a difference to this one."

   From: Save A Child